KALAMAZOO, Monday, Oct. 9 - In a move that came as a surprise to anyone who has never ever thought...ever, North Korea detonated a nuclear weapon early Monday morning...or late Sunday night, depending on your point of view and current time zone.
Senior White House officials had this to say: "Fuuuuuu#*!"
Many in the circles of Washington power stopped on a dime at the news and realized suddenly that we are currently fighting a war with a 'country' that has been shown conclusively to have never possessed nuclear (pronounced nucular, I guess...) weapons.
"Evil dooers come in all shapes and sizes." Said President Bush at an early press conference. "But they never have anything dangerous."
He was also quick to remind one and all, "I am the Decider!"
In related news, Sean Hannity is still kind of a douche bag...
POST SCRIPT:
Kim Jong-il is obsessed with all cinema, including western westerns. Maybe we should take another look at "The Man From Laramie" to see if he's running the "beans and saddles" nuclear terrorism playbook.
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