WTFSBVille -- October 24, 2006 In a shocking turn today the world has discovered that the secret service doesn't know the difference between a terrorist/enemy combatant/threat and a fourteen year old school girl.
The secret service removed the girl from her school class and interrogated her for fifteen minutes regarding her website which contained a cartoon with the words: "Kill The President" on a certain portion.
A.C.L.U. Legal Analyst Shep Bernburgstein had this to say: "Get the fuck outta here!"
Analysts and Professors from all over the country have stated that it is perfectly legal and in fact necessary for the secret service and homeland security to follow up on these sorts of things in order to prevent assassinations and terrorist attacks.
"I mean, come on! For real. She is totally a terrorist!" Said the girl's schoolyard rival and opponent in the upcoming cheer leading squad captain race, Betsy Thompkins.
Though many think this comment was less motivated by facts then by Betsy's jealousy over her relatively minuscule bosom in comparison to the accused girl's rapidly developing sweater meat.
COMMENTARY:
I understand perfectly that threatening the president, yelling "fire" in a crowded movie theater and telling a stewardess you have a bomb is illegal. But that has real consequences in the present and no one has any way of knowing whether the threat is legitimate.
However, in this case, when the girl was tracked down, and her pony and Orlando Bloom poster laden room was searched, I think it should have been clear to one and all, that she was less a terrorist than maybe just getting her first period. Or...she is, like a lot of us, pissed off with the way of things.
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