The Chips Are Falling...The Greasy Ass Kettle Cooked Kind. You Know What I'm Talking About!

Breaking days of silence and brooding, U.S. Sen. of Virginia and stunning Danny Bonaduce lookalike, Jim Webb finally endorsed a call by fellow Democratic senators to pull most U.S. combat troops out of Iraq by next April.

The chips are falling! Now it's the honorable gentleman from Virginia, the rest of the Democratic senate, the rational U.S. citizens and every Republican with a soul that wants us out of Iraq...oh, and the Iraqi's too, but who's counting?

The Republicans are getting close to pulling off the filibuster (As a form of obstructionism in a congress or other decision making body, a filibuster is an attempt to extend debate upon a proposal in order to delay or completely prevent a vote on its passage) that the Dems could not when the decision to confirm Scalia's nomination to the Supreme court. The Dems need 6 more votes to break the filibuster and commence cloture (look it up yourself).

When they stand up we'll stand down my aching ass! Find out more about where the congress stands here.

Find out more about Danny Bonaduce here. Motherfucker's crazy!

An Open Suggestion To The Candidates and Their Delagates

On my main Google splash page I have a number of very useful widgets that help me get through my day. There are top headlines from the New York Times, The Washington Post, The Guardian UK and Wired News for the techno-weenie in me.

There is also a crossword puzzle from the fine folks over at puzzlerscave.com. It really sets my grey matter on fire in the early morning hours.

The most helpful item, however, is the "How To" section which links from help articles on WikiHow.com.

I ignore most of them, but I thought that one today would be helpful to the newest candidates on their quest for the polished marble and bloody hand prints of the white house. This little suggestion was third down on the list right after "How to crowd surf" and "How to spot fake DVD's".

While those are indeed important, this caught my eye: "How to be humble."

The page suggests various steps in the process. The first five are:

1. Appreciate your talents
2. Understand your limitations
3. Recognize your faults
4. Stop comparing
5. Appreciate the talents of others

These are good thoughts to keep in mind, candidates, as we start rolling towards this empty, hollow sham of an election. And if you can put down the unstrained grain alcohol and high powered black blotter acid long enough to consider the talents of people like Dennis Kucinich and Rudy Giuliani, it will be that much sweeter when you SMOKE THEIR ASSES!

Hooray for humility!

Did Someone Say Caption Contest?

I know those last two posts were a little too serious, so here's something a little more fun. Check out this picture...

...and give me your best caption! E-mail submission to www...

Oh, it doesn't matter because I have no prizes to give and won't even read the captions...but you should thank me!

Because of me you got to see a large inflatable pink penis costume wearing a chain-belt following an utterly confused Republican wearing a suit.

Say thanks!

Harriet Miers Is An Old Blue-Haired Bitch...But What A Badass!

Are you following the Attorney Firing's Scandal? Yes? No? Oh, I can hear what you're saying...it's too confusing...I can't follow it...I'm busy!

You've got some attitude you little prick! I just asked you a question. But you're right. It is rather complicated, and I don't feel like explaining it, so you can learn all about it here.

But, do you remember the ill-fated Harriet Miers? The former white -house cleaning lady (joking) who Bush nominated for the Supreme Court after she sodomized him (lying) with his horse-cock like member (it's just what I've heard).

Well the bitch is back! And...refusing to appear under subpoena before the House Judiciary Committee with regards to her knowledge of the illicit Attorney Firings.

According to Think Progress:

"In a letter sent to House Judiciary Committee chairman John Conyers (D-MI), George Manning, the attorney for former White House Counsel Harriet Miers, said that because of President Bush’s claim of executive privilege, “Ms. Miers will not appear before the comittee or otherwise produce documents or provide testimony as set forth in the Committee’s subpoena.” The Committee has previously warned that if Miers does not comply with the subpoena, she may face contempt of Congress."

Wow! What a hard-ass. But, to be fair...even if she is found in contempt and does go to jail...her boss and lover can just commute her sentence.

What a Country!

Meet Your Candidates! Part I, Section i.

First up, the Incumbent Junior Democratic Senator from Illinois. He's a Kenyan-American and grew up throughout the country and abroad including time in Hawaii and Indonesia. That's right, he's a darkish man...with dark eyes and hair and broad features and...well, black.

Ladies and Gentlemen, you know him, you love him, it's Sen. Barack Hussein Obama! He's cool and articulate...and um, eh-hem, "clean" according to Joe Biden.

And although it was my opinion that Al Sharpton gave a rousing speech at the '04 DNC and was leaps and bounds above the heads of Democratic opponents during that elections primary debates, come on...it's Al Sharpton.

So it's looking like this skinny black man, with a funny name (that the neo-cons wouldn't dare use to compare him to recently departed ass-head Sadam!) is looking like a front runner in the upcoming and ever so far away 08 presidential election!

He is in support of all the things a Democrat should be: a woman's right to choose, gun control, socialized medicine and "New Deal"-like welfare programs.

Learn more about the "Hoosier Daddy" (I'm not kidding) at his official website: here.

FAVORITE THING ABOUT HIM SO FAR:
It's not even really about him. Heard the slogan on the internet:

"Once You Go Black, We're Out Of Iraq"

Sure it's thinly racist and an extension of an ignorant long standing misrepresentation...but it's funny and it's true. It's funny cause it's true!

BEST QUOTE:

"I know that an invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without strong international support will only fan the flames of the Middle East, and encourage the worst, rather than best, impulses of the Arab world, and strengthen the recruitment arm of al-Qaeda. I am not opposed to all wars. I'm opposed to dumb wars. You want a fight, President Bush? Let's finish the fight with Bin Laden and al-Qaeda, through effective, coordinated intelligence, and a shutting down of the financial networks that support terrorism, and a homeland security program that involves more than color-coded warnings."

--Remark on His Official Web-Site

MY DREAM TICKET

That's right folks. It's time to give an old evil a
second chance. And it's high time we had a dead
Executive Branch!

Welcome Back!

Dear Kotter,

How I have missed you and your subtlety homo erotic mustache. You're the best teacher I ever had. There's some things I'm dying to tell you about the impending election. It's going to be a hog-fuck of monumental proportions with douche-nozzles galore. We've even got a woman this time who just might win, if the lesbian rumors do not persist. A moment of silence for our fallen sausage-fest! Hipp-Hipp-Horray! Welcome back to Kilroy Got Pigeonholed!

Love,

Belvedere