Answer To Pastor Hagee and Reverend Wright Quagmire: Oh Yeah, I Gave It A Think...

I know this is late news, but the furor that we all knew was going to rain down like so much glorious burning sulfur finally broke in the past few weeks with regards to what aspect of Barrack Obama's past and present were going to be distasteful, unappealing and downright crazy.

That cloud of burning city-water smelling rock came in the shape of a bombastic, racist black Reverend by the name of Jeremiah Wright. Obama has been taken to task over the last few weeks for his association with a man who, amongst other things, thinks that the U.S. government manufactured the AIDS virus to eliminate the black population.

Now, I don't even know where to begin to with that one...wait, yes I do! Um, hey, fucktard! Remember how the AIDS epidemic began with upper class white homosexuals in New York during the disco era? What was that? A control group?

Anyway, now the seed has been planted that because Obama would have supported such a controversial religious figurehead for so long he is obviously not fit to be the President.

A couple of things right off the bat:

• Wright is a spiritual leader, makes his money through religion, believes in God and the Devil. All of these things make him seem slightly crazy and suspect to me without any of the conspiracy theories.
• Wright's notariaty and truly outspokenly racist comments came after Obama had begun to distance himself. Smell like payback to anyone else?
• Bush takes advice from Pat Robertson. PAT ROBERTSON! Bush takes advice from Pat Robertson! Pat 'scum of the earth' Robertson...Everybody awake?

Which leads me to the point: Politicians always have crazy religious figures in their corners. Nixon had Billy Graham, who can be heard on the greatest hits of the Nixon tapes talking about how much he hates Jews. Always has been, always will be.

Unless we grow up and fix the problem once and for all. Ready friends?

Make it illegal for Religious figures and organizations to support or contribute to politicians during their campaigns, or tax the ever-loving shit out of them for the right to participate in government, just like everyone else.

This is really a non-issue when it comes down to it. But since it has been made an issue, let's do the responsible thing: stop the free ride for religious corporations in this country, or severely curtail the amount of power and influence they are aloud to wield.

And I know what you're thinking. That is not unconstitutional. It is the most constitutional move possible. Let's make a separation of church and state feel like a separation of church and state for once in the history of this country.

You can shout until you're blue in the face that we were formed a Christian nation. But if you really want to stand on ceremony, let's all buy slaves and fuck them, like our greatest national mind and drafter of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson.

Oh, and if you think this is just an issue for the Dems this election cycle, check out this man, who McCain went after like a lonely schoolgirl at the prom. This is a national problem...and by that I of course mean both parties.