MAKEBELIEVETOWN, VA, 6 January 2007 -- Many of the newly seated Democrats in the 110th Congress are crying 'more of the same' as President Bush is making
sublte announcements of a "surge" of troops heading to Iraq. The surge as it stands is rumored to include five additional battalions or roughly 20,000 more troops.
"It's kind of like trying to shove ten pounds of rotten shit into a five pound bag." Said White House Press Secretary Tony Snow. "That was actually one of Bush's best classes at Yale: "Making Shit Fit 101," he continued before most of the correspondents filed out to find a do-it-yourself shock treatment kit.
Bush did his best to assuage the doubts of law-makers and the nation by saying: "I will not commit resources to a strategy that is not working."
People around the country are currently preparing letters of appreciation to be sent to the President. One such letter from 78 year old Daphne Lestrange reads: "Thank you for your remarks. I haven't laughed like that since I was a little girl!"
Jerry-Fucking-Falwell. I have heard that since the Supreme Court Hearing that made Larry Flynt a 1st Amendment Hero, that he and Falwell have become friends. I don't know if that makes this guy better or worse. Oh, wait. Now I remember what he said after 9/11. Yeah, fuck him either way.
